Camgirl

  Camgirl

  Cara Dee

  Contents

  Copyright

  To my readers

  Prologue

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  Epilogue

  About Cara

  Camgirl

  Copyright © 2019 by Cara Dee

  All rights reserved

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment and may not be reproduced in any way without documented permission of the author, not including brief quotes with links and/or credit to the source. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. This is a work of fiction and all references to historical events, persons living or dead, and locations are used in a fictional manner. Any other names, characters, incidents, and places are derived from the author’s imagination. The author acknowledges the trademark status and owners of any wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction. Characters portrayed in sexual situations are 18 or older.

  Edited by Silently Correcting Your Grammar, LLC.

  Formatted by Eliza Rae Services.

  To my readers

  It’s been too long! Readers started asking me for Lani’s story shortly after I published Northland. Don’t worry, this novella is standalone, and you don’t have to have read Northbound and Northland to get the full enjoyment of Camgirl. In the North Novels, Lani was a young girl of ten. Now she’s all grown up, and Kyle and Logan raised a strong woman. They really shouldn’t mess with her.

  I hope you’ll enjoy Lani’s story, and to the readers who’ve been with me since I wrote Quinn, Declan, Kyle, and Logan, I hope you’ll like this glimpse into their future.

  Love,

  Cara.

  Prologue

  Some seven months ago

  Jax O’Connor

  We had a good thing going, didn’t we…? I winced and pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant where I was meeting up with Mel. Good thing going on…with a question mark. Christ, my standards were high these days.

  Who the fuck did an anniversary dinner for six months, though?

  We did, evidently.

  I killed the engine of my truck and slumped back in my seat. It’d been a long week, and what I really wanted was to fly home for the weekend and get away from people. Maybe catch Lani before she went back to Seattle…

  Yeah, right.

  That would be a dick move. I’d set the boundaries and finally got along with her fathers. Going into business with them was a blessing for my bank account, and Lani’s puppy crush had faded anyway. I’d be the one hurt in the end if I followed her around all the time.

  It was essentially what I did between the ages of fourteen and eighteen. Whenever we were in the same place, she had my attention. She was two years younger than me, but I was the fuckup who’d wasted years in juvie and making everyone around me miserable, whereas she’d been preparing for a life of self-sufficiency since birth, basically.

  It wasn’t until the O’Connors took me and my brother in that I started getting my shit together, and I was still catching up.

  I sighed heavily and scrubbed a hand over my face.

  Mel was nothing like Lani.

  Lani was…fuck. Everything. And this getting-over-her part was going really fucking well for me. Truly. I wasn’t at all utterly fucked. I hadn’t thought of her every hour of the day this week when I knew she’d been at my parents’ place.

  My phone dinged with a message, unsurprisingly from Mel, who told me I was late for dinner.

  All right. I’d chosen my path. Time to walk it. My phone rang, and I was prepared to tell Mel I was here, except…Lani’s name lit up the display.

  Shit.

  I ran a hand through my hair. My pulse went through the roof. Why was she calling? We’d only exchanged short greetings in passing over the past five years. Hers had been a lot frostier than mine. Now she was calling me. When was the last time I saw her? Least a year. Fuck, shit. Fuck. Okay, who was I kidding? Like I could resist answering.

  I cleared my throat and took the call. “Jax.”

  “Heeeeeeey!”

  “Oh God,” I muttered with a flinch. Someone was really loud—and really drunk. “Lani? You okay?”

  “I’m peachy,” she slurred. “I’m in Anchorage. Where you at, stranger?”

  Amusement tugged at my mouth. Hearing her voice was unlike anything. “I’m in Fairbanks. How many drinks have you had?”

  “I…I don’t know, so prob-probably a good amount.”

  “And you decided to call me,” I said. “I’m flattered.”

  “You shouldn’t be! I’m mad at you.”

  I knew she was. She had every right to be. “I’m sorry, love.”

  “Don’t call m-me that,” she snapped. “I had my whole life figured out, you know. Now I’m… I live in Seattle and go to stupid college—okay, that’s a lie.” She started laughing. “Shh, it’s a secret. You can’t tell anyone.”

  I shook my head and frowned. Why—what she was saying? Of course she was in college. Thankfully, I wasn’t the only one who’d fucked things up with her. Her parents had played a big part, and I couldn’t say they were entirely wrong, but either way, it’d led to her escaping Alaska. She was studying biology in Seattle.

  “What’s the secret, Lani?”

  “Shh! That I quit school.”

  Oh fuck. And it was a secret? I grimaced. She didn’t know I had gigs with her fathers, so she didn’t know I saw them at least once a month. Now I’d have to hide that from them.

  “Why would you—”

  “No, you listen to me,” she snarled. “I was looking forward to this week. I was gonna-gonna get away from the city and help your parents with the new pups. Just me and eleven little puppies. But I couldn’t have that, could I? Noooo, because Patrick and Nina won’t. Stop. Talking about you. It was Jax this, and Jax that. Oh, Jax got his pilot certificate—we’re so proud of him.” I assumed she was mimicking my mother. “You ruined my week, Jax!”

  I did my best not to grin. “Technically, my parents—”

  “Oh, don’t fucking go there,” she seethed in warning. Man, she was a fireball. If Mel even had a fraction of that hotheadedness, she’d…still be nothing like Lani Shaw. “Instead of feeling all blissed out from a week up there, I’m sitting in a shitty bar in Anchorage getting plastered because I can’t push you out of my life.”

  That killed all traces of humor. She’d been actively avoiding me since I told her I wasn’t into her, which I’d done in a…not-so-smooth way. I cringed at the memory. Moreover, it didn’t help that my parents wanted us together.

  “I’ll tell them to tone it down,” I replied quietly.

  “Thank you,” she said flatly. “I’ll get back to my drinks.” Plural. Wonderful. “…and taking off my clothes for money—”

  “What the fuck did you just say?” I blurted out incredulously.

  She was laughing again.

  I was seriously about to lose my shit. She was lying. There wasn’t a chance in hell she was some stripper. It was a joke.

  Someone should tell my heart rate that.

  “It’s a secret!” she giggled. “It pays sooo well. Like, I’m rolling it in big.”

  “Hey!” It was my turn to snap. Funny how quickly she got my anger going. “That’s not funny, Lani. You’re not a fucking stripper.”

  “N-no, I’m not,” she hiccupped. “Well…I guess there’s stripping involved.” She snorted. “I don’t think I could fit a pole in my studio, though. Like, where would it go?”

  “Lani…” I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. “What are you talking about? Please tell me.”

  “Oh, sure. I’m a camgirl.”

  I felt the blood leave my face as she started rambling about this website where all kinds of people took off their clothes and performed sexual acts—usually alone, but apparently sometimes in pairs and threesomes—in front of their webcam. With sometimes hundreds of viewers at the same time. Sometimes one-on-one, and I was gonna be sick. Oh fuck, I just might puke.

  I rubbed a hand over my mouth and screwed my eyes shut.

  When she was sixteen, she confessed she wanted us to be together forever and have our own house on my parents’ land.

  I’d kissed her right after. Her first kiss, my first kiss. She’d been so awkward. I had been even worse. An angry kid who hated the world, but she’d changed everything.

  Now she was letting perverts watch her get off in front of a camera.

  I couldn’t believe it.

  Eventually, Lani went back to cursing me out for ruining her week, and shortly after that, she hung up the phone.

  Stumbling out of my truck, I lit up a smoke and took a deep drag to calm my nerves. Well worth frostbitten fingers. I bunched up my shoulders and exhaled shakily, the frigid cold quick to remind me leather jackets were summer wear, nothing else.

  Camgirl.

  Jealousy seeped into my marrow. Fuckers all over the world could pay money to see my girl—Not mine. I gave her up. A decision I was beginning to question. Back then, it was logically simple. We lived several hours away from each other—two flights, to be exact. I was still behind in everything, and her parents hated me back then. I would’ve held her back. She would’ve changed her future for me and then lived with regrets.

  No. Dammit, no, I’d made the right call.

  I sighe
d and lifted my gaze to the tiny strip mall where the restaurant was.

  Mel was nothing like Lani.

  Five minutes later, I found myself sitting across the table from my girlfriend. She gave me a rueful look and noted I was always late. She didn’t yell or anything. Mel wasn’t like that. She was chill and mellow and…and bland.

  She worked as a manicurist next door.

  Lani was a camgirl.

  Jesus.

  “The chicken parm looks good,” Mel said. “What do you think?”

  “I think, uh…” I struggled to read the menu, my mind elsewhere. “I think we should break up.”

  1

  Present day

  Lani Shaw

  Don’t question it. Don’t question it.

  I rarely knew why men left money in my virtual tip jar unless there’d been a sexual component involved, and I’d been told to never ask. Sometimes, though, it was difficult to keep quiet. I had this one guy… Two hundred bucks every Friday night. That was on top of the monthly fee he was charged to be on the pay site and have access to private chats.

  He never asked for anything sexual.

  Alert: User ID 4983 has left a tip.

  Instead of asking why he was paying me so much, I smiled into the webcam and leaned forward just a bit, enough to flash a little more cleavage. “Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do for you?” I would have become self-conscious about my too-small boobs by now if he didn’t keep coming back. Every damn Friday for the past six or seven months.

  His reply appeared on the screen.

  Tell me about school.

  Man, he was weird.

  I’d checked his profile. He had enough status to engage in face-to-face play with the girls, yet he kept his cam and mic off.

  “School is fine,” I lied and relaxed back in my seat. The leather stuck to my skin uncomfortably. As soon as our hour was up, I was going to change out of the corset and the lacy thong and into my flannel PJs. “Looking forward to some time off.”

  My going to college wasn’t only a lie I had on my work profile. It was something I told my dads and the rest of my family too. If they knew I was living off-campus in a ratty studio and had dropped out two months into my freshman year, they’d go nuts. Having one meddling, overprotective father was bad as it was. Try having two.

  Any plans?

  “I'm going home for a couple months.” I hoped he wouldn’t get too personal. Twice, I’d had to tell him I couldn’t answer. Once when he asked why I wore a blond wig. Once when he wondered about my real name. Why would he assume Schoolgirl Becky wasn’t genuine? “How was your week?” I asked him. “Did you find any new music?”

  Maybe he worked in the music industry. Or maybe it was our most popular topic because it was safe. I didn’t give anything away by sharing songs and my taste in music. Same with literature and movies and some other hobbies. I’d learned he was heavily into cooking, traveling, and playing the guitar.

  I watched the videos you sent me. The songs sucked.

  A surprised laugh escaped me, and I scowled playfully into the camera. “I have excellent taste in music, you know.”

  Yeah? You should link me to something excellent, then.

  I snorted softly.

  He was kind of funny.

  “Next time,” I promised. Our time was almost up.

  I hope you enjoy your vacation.

  “Oh, I’ll still be working. I’ll just do it from home.” I winked at the screen. Thankfully, I wouldn’t be staying with my parents. I’d have enough privacy to carry on with my business even when I went back up to Alaska. Before I wrapped this up, however, thoughts of finally going home took a back seat so I could sell myself. “I kind of look forward to Fridays these days.” I bit my lip. “I like talking to you.” It was strangely true, though I told him in order to keep him coming back for more.

  You won’t get rid of me. Until next week.

  That weekend, I focused on packing and organizing my finances. I’d worked too hard to make mistakes now, and I wanted to ensure my money was spent wisely.

  I’d lost sight of my original goal, but it’d been replaced by a new one. One that was just for me.

  Even so, it caused resentment to surface every now and then. My dads ran a successful company in the Peninsula. Whether they were hunting or guiding tourists or escorting filmmakers through the Alaskan wilderness, they had everything under control and got rave reviews from clients and visitors. And the one time I’d wanted to prove myself worthy of working with them and joining the business, I’d messed up royally.

  It’d been the beginning of a gender war between me and one of my dads—Kyle. Not that Logan was much better; he was only sneakier. He was diplomatic like whoa.

  In short, they couldn’t stomach me taking on more responsibility, and it was seriously crushing.

  Kyle once gave me my first knife. He’d taken me on my first hunt. God, he’d been there for me forever. When my real parents—his brother—died when I was little, he’d taken over. He’d made sure I followed the traditions with which my mother grew up. She’d been of Iñupiat heritage, some of her beautiful features staring back at me when I looked in the mirror. But these days, that reminder brought mostly pain.

  I wasn’t born to live my life in a city. I was born to be up there, in the wild, alongside my family. It was what I’d prepared myself for for as long as I could remember—what Kyle had prepared me for. Yet…one accident, and it was all taken away from me. The trust he’d had in my abilities—gone.

  So I’d fled.

  I blew out a breath and stared at the boots on my lap. I was going to pack them. A beautiful pair of mukluks my grandmother had made me shortly before she passed away. The thick skin of the boots, the intricate needlework, and the soft fur trim made them one of my most cherished possessions. Much like me, they didn’t belong here.

  If you didn’t take care of leather and fur, they lost their luster and durability. Cracks would appear, and cold would penetrate it.

  My phone rang, buried somewhere under the pile of clothes next to me on my couch. I found it resting on a pair of wool socks and smiled when I saw Justin’s name on the display.

  “Hi, little brother,” I answered.

  He chuckled. “Hey, sis. Guess where I am.”

  “How should I know?” I scrunched my nose. He could be in one of many places. We were sort of spread out along the Peninsula and up to the Northwest Arctic. Family was everywhere, and our dads traveled a lot.

  “I’m in Anchorage,” he said. Which was admittedly a surprise. He was only fifteen and already hated Anchorage. A hermit in the making.

  “Um, why?”

  “Because I heard you were flying up in a few days,” he replied as if it were obvious. “I’m staying with Uncle Quinn and Uncle Declan.” They were friends of our dads, though calling them family came closer to the truth.

  “That’s cool. Quinn offered to pick me up at the airport,” I said.

  “Yeah, I’ll be there too. We’ll catch up before we meet up with Dads, ’cause I’ll be avoiding all of you then.”

  I rolled my eyes, even though he was right. Whenever I visited, we just started fighting. Logan tried to mediate, because evidently Kyle and I were the hotheads, but in the end, Dads were on the same page.

  I couldn’t blame Justin for not wanting to be around it.

  “I think I’ve decided to settle down in Nome when I’m done with school,” I said, changing the topic. “It’ll put me a plane ride away from Pinnuaq…” I smirked wryly at Justin’s laugh. “I’m serious!” Nome would be perfect. It was where we middle-landed. We had Pinnuaq Bay in the Peninsula in the south, where our dads ran their business, and then the wilderness an hour’s flight north of Nome, where our family did seasonal work at an adventure retreat a couple times a year. It was also my favorite place in the whole world.