Her All Along Read online

  Barbecue season was almost here.

  “Do you wanna have lunch at Uncle Darius’s, Grace?” I asked, reaching for my water bottle.

  “Unka Da, go, go, go!”

  I grinned and took a swig of my water. “I’ll take that as a yes.” It was a good time to turn around anyway. We’d reached the outskirts of Downtown, and…I came to a stop when I saw a house that was for sale.

  Breathing heavily, I brought out my phone to check out the listing. I was curious. Within a year or so, Grace would need her own room, and I couldn’t give up my study completely. I brought enough work home with me to require a home office, and my kitchen was useless. There was no space for a desk in the living room either.

  We were approximately fifteen minutes away from the marina, so the houses here should be significantly cheaper.

  “Dada, go Unka?” Grace twisted in her seat and peered up at me.

  “Soon, love.” I raised my brows as I read the asking price. What the fresh fuck? It was less than what I’d paid for my house six years ago. I knew the proximity to the marina mattered a lot, but Jesus Christ.

  This house had four bedrooms and a much bigger backyard, not to mention the kitchen that had a separate dining area.

  Did I truly care about being so close to the marina?

  I’d put in a lot of work on my own home, and if this was the price range for a house on the outskirts, I was going to make a substantial profit if I moved.

  “You know what Daddy likes, Grace?” I wiped some sweat off my forehead and stowed away my phone again. “Making a profit.”

  She nodded. “Poff?”

  “Yeah, poff.” I smirked and picked up the pace again, and it was decided. I was going to start checking the listings. I also needed to find out what my house was worth these days.

  “You go, go, go, Dada!” Grace laughed. “Wheeee!”

  I grinned and snorted. She was too fucking precious.

  Fuck, suddenly a whole world of possibilities was opening up. Several times a week, I checked my savings and my stock portfolio with discomfort twisting my stomach. I was doing fairly well for a man with my income, and I estimated I could afford to fuck off and live off what I had for maybe four months. But then I’d have to start over from the beginning, and I had no desire to do so. It already worried me that I wasn’t able to set aside more than a hundred bucks a month for Grace. But now, I had the prospect of making tens of thousands of dollars extra just by moving…?

  If I’d thought it would be great to see Pipsqueak again, it had nothing on witnessing her reunion with Grace.

  I stood there in the hallway of the Quinn residence as Grace sat on my hip and went through a wide range of emotions, starting with shyness and confusion.

  “You know Elise, baby.” I touched her cheek as she watched Pipsqueak with a wary expression.

  I hadn’t even given Pipsqueak a hug yet, and I was fucking dying to, but we had her parents and Ethan and Lias watching in the background. Watching Grace, watching Elise.

  “It’s weird seeing me when I’m not on a screen, huh?” Elise walked closer and stroked a finger along Grace’s arm.

  I soaked up the sight of Pipsqueak. Something had changed, and I couldn’t put a finger on it. She’d cut her hair; it didn’t reach her shoulders anymore, but other than that… It was her posture, wasn’t it? How she carried herself. Her beautiful green eyes glistened with tears, and she smiled carefully at Grace, who was thawing slowly.

  “You remember her, don’t you?” I murmured.

  Mary stepped forward and handed Elise the penguin from our visit to the aquarium last year.

  What happened next made even me emotional. With a whispered “boop,” Elise touched the penguin to Grace’s cheek, and my girl started crying and reached for Pipsqueak. She did remember. As soon as she’d left my arms for Elise’s, I had a feeling I wouldn’t see much of Grace for a while.

  The confusion in Grace lingered, and I felt bad for her. She was really bawling her eyes out, but it was sweet as hell to see her hugging Elise so tightly.

  Elise closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks.

  I cleared my throat in my fist and figured they should have some privacy. But first, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Elise’s forehead. “Welcome home, Pipsqueak.”

  She smiled but didn’t open her eyes. Then she gave my hand a quick squeeze, and I told her quietly that we’d catch up soon. She nodded and sniffled.

  Fucking hell, it felt good to see her again. But yeah, she’d changed. I wanted to stare at her for hours and figure her out all over again. Her face had slimmed slightly. She stood straighter. Her dress looked exactly like the famous one Marilyn Monroe had worn, except Pipsqueak’s was black. I’d always thought there was something incredibly graceful about Elise, and now she was taking it to new heights.

  Beautiful didn’t come close to describing her.

  I forced myself to leave them behind in the hallway, and Mary shuffled her boys toward the patio where drinks were being served.

  The plan was for us to walk over to the marina and have dinner at Darius’s restaurant in a little while.

  It was good, ’cause I was starving. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

  It would be difficult to get time with Elise if my daughter kept hogging her. On the way to the marina, Grace and Elise acted like they were the only two people in the world, chasing each other around, making funny faces, and hugging. If it weren’t so fucking cute, I would’ve protested.

  Whenever Grace demanded to be picked up, it seemed to be because she wanted to touch Elise’s face. As if she needed to make sure Pipsqueak still wasn’t trapped behind a laptop, Grace cupped Elise’s cheeks, smushed them together, poked at her nose, and grinned when she was satisfied. She smooched Elise too. Then she wanted down once more.

  In the meantime, I walked with Ethan, and we lamented being the only ones who’d dressed up for the occasion. Though, I suspected Ethan was a lot more serious than I was. I didn’t care about James wearing flannel or Lias wearing sweatpants.

  “I’m just saying,” Ethan went on, “looking like they give a shit wouldn’t kill them.”

  I chuckled and shook my head. Ethan cared too much. Besides, at the end of the day, I’d probably regret choosing a white button-down. I’d folded the sleeves so Grace wouldn’t grab on to them with her constantly dirty fingers, but she’d find other ways to sling food on me. She was lethal with a spoon in her hand.

  Evelina met up with us at the marina, having just gotten off work, and she got a hug from Pipsqueak.

  What was I, chopped liver?

  “Where’s Willow?” Evelina asked curiously.

  “It was too much for her,” Mary replied.

  “She and I will have our own reunion.” Pipsqueak smiled and squinted up at the sign that read Quinn’s Fish Camp. The outdoor seating season had begun, and all those tables were full. “I can’t believe he actually did it. I love the sign!”

  Yeah, it fit. According to the interior decorator who’d come in for a consultation, the answer was sea glass. Sea glass and tealights had been the finishing touch before Darius had opened the doors. There was art on the walls too, old maps and photographs of the marina, fishing boats, and crews.

  We made our way inside, and Darius was easy to find. He stood behind the bar, talking to another bartender while they poured beer into several glasses.

  Darius grinned lazily when he spotted Elise. “Look who finally remembered where she’s from.” Then he clapped the other guy on his shoulder. “All right, you’re in charge for a couple hours.” He nodded for us to veer right toward the dining room, where almost all the tables were full. It made me happy for him. He’d opened strong.

  One big table in the middle of the area was reserved for us, and someone had already prepared a booster seat for Grace.

  “If there’s no spot next to Grace, I will resort to bitch slaps,” Pipsqueak warned somewhere behind me.

  Well, I was taking one
of them. I could tell that Ethan and Lias considered their options, but there was no way they believed it was worth it.

  By the time I’d picked up Grace and put her in the seat, they’d found their own spots on the other side of the round table.

  Smart guys.

  As always when meeting up with the Quinns, you had to tune out the background noise, because at least three people were constantly chatting—loudly. Mary chastised Lias and Ethan for arguing about some game, James felt the need to retell the story of how his father had wanted to become a chef but the family farm had needed him—a story we’d heard more than once since Darius had opened the restaurant with a handful of his grandfather’s old recipes—and Pipsqueak babbled with Grace.

  “We’ve heard the story, Pop,” Darius chuckled.

  “I’m just sayin’ it’s a nice tribute,” James replied defensively. “Oh, and fuck farm life. The farm turned that man into a ragin’ alcoholic.”

  “Speaking of, may I have wine?” Elise asked.

  Ethan and I cracked up at her timing.

  Darius furrowed his brow. “Did you turn twenty-one in San Francisco?”

  Pipsqueak sighed.

  I accepted a menu as two waitresses appeared, one of whom poured everyone’s water. Mary and I were probably the only ones who listened to the server introducing herself, but Darius told the rest to pipe down so we could hear the two specials.

  “Oof, I’ll have that last one,” I said. Grilled salmon, garlic shrimp, asparagus, lemon, and mashed potatoes with butter—I was going to inhale my meal. Most of the others ordered the same, and while Ethan customized his dish to remove basically everything that tasted good, I found two side dishes I knew Grace liked here. Lobster mac and fish sticks. Only, I wasn’t allowed to call them fish sticks because Darius considered that a smear campaign against his carefully selected, best-of-the-best products.

  Once everyone had ordered their food and drinks, Grace’s highlight of every visit here arrived, which was the bread.

  “Yuh-yuh-ba-mmm!” She bounced in her seat as I tore the soft bread into tiny pieces.

  “My little weirdo. You’re a cheap date.” I sat back, amused, and watched her go to town.

  Resting my arm along the back of Grace’s chair, I caught Elise smiling at me, a soft smile that spoke volumes in a place where we couldn’t talk. An affectionate smile that made me wonder if we were going to remain “friends” during this visit of hers. I knew we’d said we’d wait the two years before giving us an honest chance…

  Seeing her today, I wasn’t sure I could go that long.

  Darius whacked Ethan in the back of his head for some reason. “Quit eyeing my staff. The girl just graduated high school.”

  “Jesus.” Ethan glared and rubbed his neck. “So, she’s legal.”

  “For chrissakes, son,” Mary grated.

  “What is it with you cradle robbers?” Darius asked incredulously. “First, Ry finds his toddler on the streets, and now, you’re chasing the youngest tail you can possibly find in my fucking restaurant.”

  I cleared my throat and side-eyed Pipsqueak, who was finding her napkin riveting to fidget with.

  “I don’t chase anyone,” Ethan bitched. “When you look like me, you don’t have to.”

  It was possible that Ethan could be a tad obnoxious.

  “Shit does attract flies,” Pipsqueak noted.

  Oh… My shoulders started shaking with the laughter I tried to contain, but one look at Ethan’s expression and I was done for. Darius and James—hell, Lias too—didn’t even try. They all howled with laughter.

  Ethan could not look more offended. Or shocked.

  Upon seeing the flush that bled across Elise’s cheeks, I realized she hadn’t meant to be funny. It’d just been one of her filterless musings, and it only made things funnier. She grinned sheepishly at me, and I couldn’t help but touch her back. Just a brief brush of my hand up her shoulder. Okay, time to pull away from her soft, flawless skin.

  This was going to go well.

  Twenty-Six

  The next day, I was at the Quinns’ at seven in the morning to drop off Grace and to meet up with Elise, Ethan, Willow, and Darius. We were hiking up toward Coho Pass, the highest peak in the area, but we wouldn’t go the whole way just yet. About two-thirds of the way up the mountain, there was a trail not many knew about that led to a cliffside with hot springs and a small lake.

  It was on Pipsqueak’s list of favorite things to do in town and, therefore, part of her homecoming tour. She wanted to soak it all up before she had to leave again.

  We drove up in Darius’s heavy-duty truck, the only vehicle that would fit all of us without making us feel too crowded. It was a twenty-minute drive into the forest district of Westslope, across the river, until we reached the first campsite and a parking lot for hikers.

  I handed Pipsqueak her daypack from the bed of the truck before shouldering my own, and Darius and Ethan decided we should take the shortest route. Not because it was short, but because it involved some moderate climbing skills.

  I was still waiting for my goddamn hug, but I supposed I’d have to settle for seeing Pipsqueak working up a sweat.

  At least I got a little bit of privacy with her on the hike. Ethan evidently had to uphold his reputation as a fitness freak, so he stayed several paces in front of everyone. Darius and Willow were a minute or so behind us, seemingly discussing something they didn’t want other ears to pick up. Because they’d changed the subject the couple of times they’d come closer to us.

  “Come on, you lazy fucks!” Ethan hollered, having already climbed up the first cliffside.

  “Calm yourself.” Pipsqueak frowned up at him.

  I smirked faintly and gestured for her to go first. The cliff was no more than ten feet high and had plenty of crevices and protrusions to grab on to.

  “Isn’t this where you’re supposed to be a gentleman and offer to drag me up?” Elise teased.

  I chuckled. “No, this is where I catch you if you fall, and the reward for my gentlemanly behavior is my view.”

  “Oh.” She blushed furiously and set her foot on the first step, so to speak, and hauled herself up. “I’m trying to behave, you know. It’s not easy when you deliberately torture me.”

  Deliberately what now?

  “What did I do?” I hadn’t fucking done anything. I hadn’t even managed to sneak in a motherfucking hug.

  Ethan was gone from the top ledge, and Darius and Willow were still a bit behind us.

  “You have a perfect butt, okay?” she snapped under her breath, causing my eyebrows to hike up. “You showed up in those dress pants at dinner yesterday, and today you’re all sweaty T-shirt and abs.”

  Yeah, try stopping my grin now. Fucking hell, that ego boost felt wonderful.

  When she was about halfway up, I followed and ascended the slanted cliffside. The things I wanted to say about her ass… My God. It didn’t exactly help that she was hiking in cargo shorts that seemed to be three sizes too small. I mean, they fit like a glove, but I thought cargo-wear was meant to have more room. My cargo shorts were longer and sat looser on my legs.

  Was it just my imagination, or had she filled out a bit over this past year? In all the right places too. Her toned legs and bitable thighs continued to draw my stare.

  Once Elise had made it to the top, I made two quick leaps from one crevice to another and pushed myself up with a grunt.

  She was getting sweaty too, and it was sexy as hell.

  “Okay, I’m ready to throw myself into the lake,” she said, out of breath. “I don’t care how cold it is.”

  Oh, it was definitely going to be cold. That water came straight from the mountain.

  We still had another hour or so before we were there, though.

  “I’ve been thinking about something,” Elise said. “It’s very personal, so feel free to ignore me.”

  Damn. Was it about my past, then? Shortly after she’d left for school last summer, I’d opened
up to her during our phone calls. She’d already known the gist of it, but I’d told her more about what my brother and I had gone through, and later what’d happened between Angie and me—and how it’d shaped me as a person. In short, it’d been my explanation for why I’d become an asshole to women.

  I kept my expression composed. “Shoot.”

  Right after I shared something personal with Pipsqueak, she wasn’t the type to hurl out compiled lists of questions. She expressed sympathy and tried to understand; finding logic was always her priority. The questions came afterward, when she’d processed, and she’d caught me off guard a few times since then.

  “Have you thought about contacting your brother again?” she asked.

  I let out a breath, having expected something worse. After all, I’d admitted to her that I’d treated women like garbage because I hadn’t trusted them. No explicit details or anything, just… I’d glossed over my ridiculous rules on shying away from intimacy. I still cringed at the memory of being so open with Elise, because I didn’t want her to lose interest or view me as the dick I’d been.

  The time I confessed my marriage had ended with my getting arrested, I’d been so certain Elise would avoid me going forward. She’d proven me wrong.

  “I think about it sometimes, but he made it pretty clear that he’s not interested,” I answered.

  “Just because he didn’t respond to you? What if he didn’t get the letter?”

  “Or the email,” I reminded. “I sent both, and he didn’t answer. That’s answer enough.”

  I’d kept them brief, just letting him know I was thinking about him and that he could reach out if he wanted to talk and stay in touch. I’d explained at the bottom that I was sending the message both to his listed address and his email in case one went missing. It was a work email I’d seen on the website for the radio station he’d worked at in Seattle.

  “But it’s been years,” Elise said, confused. “Maybe he misses you? Maybe he’s too nervous to contact you.”