Her All Along Read online

  I definitely didn’t mind spending the next few minutes kissing the cute grin off her face. I was sporting a ridiculous smile myself, and it couldn’t be helped.

  “We should go to bed,” I murmured. We had to be up early. The commute in the Bay Area was already sheer hell, and I was driving her back to San Francisco before dropping Grace off in Alameda…before going to work in Oakland…before coming back to Berkeley.

  “Mmm, but sex first, right?”

  I snorted quietly and squeezed her thigh. “I wasn’t planning on falling asleep right away.”

  Around her, I fucking couldn’t.

  “When’s your next evening off?” I asked. “I want to take you to dinner.”

  “Next weekend.” She started dropping a trail of kisses down my neck, and it became near impossible to stay on track.

  Next weekend was good, though. I would’ve started teaching my GED class in Alameda by then, and I should have less work to bring home at night.

  Could life get any better than this?

  The weekend after Thanksgiving brought us an unusual heat wave, something James and Mary took credit for. They’d come down to look at houses and time-shares around San Francisco—and to wish Grace a belated happy birthday. After breakfast, we met up with Ryan and Angel and drove out to the national recreation area on the other side of the Golden Gate, where a massive lawn waited for the picnic the girls had prepared. Three sides of the park were surrounded by forest and cliffs, with the visitors parking lot on the fourth.

  Angel darted off with Grace to look at the “cute puppies,” which in reality consisted of a group of six dogs and their owners agility training. Mary and James stood a few paces away and spent some time catching up with Ryan, and Pipsqueak and I planted our asses on our blanket.

  Grace was bundled up in soft coveralls, complete with beanie and mittens, and the rest of us wore hoodies or lighter jackets, but other than that, it might as well have been early summer in Washington.

  I used a spare hoodie as a pillow and got comfortable on my back, and Elise rested her head on my stomach while she took on one of her mother’s crossword puzzles.

  I thought about starting the book I’d brought, but I couldn’t find it in me to move an inch. Instead, I just lay there and soaked up the sun and drew my fingers through Elise’s hair.

  Every now and then, I heard Grace’s peals of laughter and excited clapping when a dog performed a trick.

  “I think I made a mistake,” Elise mumbled. “Laden, six letters, and I want it to be filled.” No pun intended? “But there’s a stupid R in the way.”

  I hummed. “Fraught?”

  “Fraught,” she whispered. “Yes! You rock. Thank you. The benefit of dating a teacher.”

  I rumbled a chuckle and pulled one foot up to rest it on my knee. “I distinctly remember you pointing out once that English wasn’t my subject.”

  “You remember the silliest things, sweetie. Stop doing that.”

  I grinned to myself.

  I really dug it when she called me sweetie. It was a somewhat new development.

  “Oi! Lovebirds,” Ryan hollered. “They’ve got volleyball nets over the—”

  “Don’t even!” Elise exclaimed. “I haven’t had a day off in weeks. I’m not moving my butt, okay? And Avery’s my pillow, so he can’t move either.”

  I pushed up to support myself on my elbows, and I squinted over at a disgruntled-looking Ryan. “Looks like my hands are full, buddy.”

  He snorted. “You’re fucking whipped.”

  I wasn’t even going to deny that. I hadn’t seen Pipsqueak in five days, and only for a quick dinner then.

  “Oh, let them be.” Mary chastised Ryan halfheartedly and returned to the blanket she shared with James. “I think you two are adorable.”

  Elise held up a fist for me, and I laughed and bumped it with my own.

  Ryan gave up on us and jogged over to Angel and Grace instead.

  James found his spot next to Mary and dug out their coffee thermos.

  “Avery, dear,” Mary started. “Did you hear back from your brother yet?”

  I ignored the quick jab that question caused in my chest and shook my head. “No.” I’d been doing well lately, not thinking about Finn as often. Rather, I’d gotten myself a reality check, and the hope I’d held out for his response had dwindled. It’d been foolish to believe.

  Elise tilted her face and kissed my side.

  She’d felt guilty for pushing the idea, and it’d taken me a while to convince her she’d done the right thing. I was still glad I’d sent the letter.

  Mary slid a hesitant look to James, who shrugged.

  I raised a brow. Was I missing something here?

  She cleared her throat. “Well, I wouldn’t give up,” she went on carefully. “James and I saw him in town the other day.”

  “Really?” Elise sat up.

  Jesus Christ, them too? Was everyone going to run into my estranged brother—wait. In town?

  “You saw him in Camassia?” I asked for clarification. “Not at Sea-Tac?”

  “Across the street from the deli we go to in the Valley,” she replied, gesturing to Elise. It was their thing to shop there once a week, but I knew where it was, obviously. “We thought it was you at first.”

  I’d heard that one before.

  Pipsqueak peered down at me. “You gave him Ryan’s address, didn’t you?”

  I nodded. “And my email.”

  Since I hadn’t yet moved in to my place in Berkeley at the time I sent the letter, I’d asked Ryan if I could use his name and address should my brother wish to write back. And I’d been honest with him. After wrapping up the CliffsNotes of my adulthood, leading up to our temporary stay in the Bay Area, I’d admitted to Finn that I wanted to hear from him, that I missed him.

  Elise became pensive. “Maybe he’s waiting for us to move home. You told me he’s careful by nature. That he doesn’t act quickly.”

  Sure, but he’d been a child back then. I only knew the kid he once was. The kid who’d recently escaped years of abuse. Anyone would be careful and cautious with our background.

  I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

  He once swore to me that he’d never come back to Camassia.

  Something else must’ve brought him back to town, considering he knew I wasn’t there.

  I didn’t want to think about it anymore. “I’m gonna go check in with Grace,” I said.

  Thirty-Two

  It made me ridiculously happy to see that many hands in the air. “Mariella,” I said.

  “Because we wised up and started making our own shit,” she replied.

  I chuckled and returned to the board. “Exactly. Why pay for something we could create ourselves?” I pulled down the map over the board to demonstrate the triangle between England, the west coast of Africa, and our thirteen colonies. “Problem was, we had this economic ecosystem, so to speak, and a minor change was all it took to disrupt the trade. Raw materials from the colonies, goods from England, and the slave trade in Africa.” I faced the class again. “Because we had been exporting exclusively to England, we also had the protection of the British Navy in the Atlantic. Every merchant was happy, and business was booming around the cities.” I paused. “Who can tell me what we exported? I want one raw material from the Northeast, one from the middle colonies, and one from the South.”

  Jordan, who’d been struggling a lot the first semester, was finally catching up and being more involved in the class.

  “Jordan,” I said.

  He cleared his throat and tapped his pen against his desk. “Uh, tobacco from the South, farmed shit from the middle—grains and whatever—and timber from the north.”

  I nodded. “Good job.” A glance at the clock let me know it was time to wrap things up. And a double take at the door told me that Elise was right outside. My immediate thought went to Grace, that something was wrong, but Pipsqueak looked too happy. “All right, everyone. Till next week. I want
2,000 words on the sanctions England imposed on the colonies when we started trading with other countries. You’ll find all the info under the Navigation Acts starting on page 209 in your book.”

  They barely even groaned! I called that a success.

  Most of my students had warmed up to me by November last year. Then I’d snatched the rest of the class’s approval after the holidays, when I’d turned a canceled field trip into a day with movies and pizza. Now April was around the corner, and almost everyone was focused on graduating high school. Two girls and four boys had dropped out, which I reluctantly had to accept. I could be the best teacher in the universe, and I still wouldn’t be able to keep all students in school.

  I sat back against my desk and watched the students pour out of the classroom, and I wondered if maybe I should start teaching all grades again. There were benefits to being able to follow a student from freshman year to senior.

  On the other hand, teaching freshmen… Fucking hell, I remembered those days, and not fondly. They still had the tendency to act like kindergartners at that age.

  I’d talk to Phil soon. He was itching to have me back at Ponderosa, and I couldn’t fuck with his system too much. I was already going to request some changes in order for me to take on a second job at Camas High. I’d made up my mind and had been in contact with their principal. There was a position open for two AP classes, and with how poorly funded they were, they’d take whatever they could get. In other words, if I could get Phil on board, I had room to be flexible and make sure the classes didn’t conflict.

  Elise slipped inside once the last student had left, and she closed the door before scurrying toward me. “Hi!”

  “Hi, baby. This is a surprise. Everything okay?” I tugged her between my legs and kissed her chastely.

  “Better than,” she countered, practically vibrating. “I didn’t wanna email or call, so I borrowed Ry’s truck as soon as I got out of class.”

  “Why would you email me?” I grinned, confused.

  She untied the belt around her snug little trench coat, bringing forth memories of the night she’d first shown it to me. Black, thin, “perfect for spring weather,” she’d said. And she’d only been wearing a black bra and a matching thong underneath.

  I’d almost proposed to her right then and there.

  Unfortunately, she wore clothes underneath now.

  She retrieved a printout from her inner pocket and handed it to me. “I had to show you. Don’t tell me this isn’t perfect. It just went on the market today.”

  On the market…

  I flipped open the page and saw a grid of six black-and-white photos of a house.

  Three-bedroom, two-and-a-half baths, garage that fit two cars, a small studio above said garage… Where was the catch? The listing price was set at $60,000 less than what I got for my old house at the marina, but that didn’t say much. It was likely to go for higher in the end, I was fairly certain.

  Outskirts of Downtown, still a great neighborhood. There was a private day care nearby, I remembered. Same Victorian style as most houses in our area.

  “It needs a new kitchen, and the backyard doesn’t look great,” Elise said.

  “Doable.” I flipped the page to see if there was anything on the back, but it was blank. “I don’t mind getting my hands dirty if it’ll save us some money. And Darius owes me a favor from when I helped him with the restaurant.”

  I squinted at one of the photos. It was a little grainy, though I could still estimate the size of the backyard.

  “It does look great,” I admitted. “I’ll be able to have my own office until we need the third bedroom.” Then perhaps I could turn the spot above the garage into an office.

  Elise stepped closer and wrapped her arms around my middle. “Because you’re gonna knock me up one day?”

  I grinned and kissed her softly. “That’s exactly why.” I nipped at her bottom lip and earned myself a faint blush that bled across her cheeks. “Have you thought more on my suggestion about Grace, by the way?”

  Speaking of blushes. Elise’s emotional, stammering, sweet response to when I’d confessed that I wanted us to discuss Grace’s name for Pipsqueak would forever be one of my favorite memories. I’d suggested that we didn’t necessarily try to correct Grace when she called Elise “Lee-Lee,” but that I would—along with the rest of the family—begin to refer to Elise as her mother.

  “You know I want nothing more,” she murmured, kissing my neck. Presumably as a way to hide her face.

  “But…?”

  “No buts!” She peered down between us and fidgeted with my hand. “I’ve loved Grace since before she was born. My only fear is, once I take that spot in her life, I’m-I’m not going to be able to give it back.”

  I furrowed my brow and tried to make eye contact, but she wasn’t ready. “Why on earth would you have to give it back, sweetheart? I know you’ve loved her from the moment you knew about her. You’ve also already filled those shoes in her life, and the way I see it, the single reason we’ve waited to make things official is because you have to put school first.”

  She nodded slowly, processing what I’d said. “You’re right. And I know her biological mother isn’t coming back.” Definitely not. Last I heard from Keira, last year, Taylor had moved to London to study fashion design. Besides, she had no legal claim. “But what if she did?”

  For this, I had to see her face properly. I raised her chin gently and wasn’t surprised to see those stunning green eyes brimming with vulnerability. It was what already made her the best possible mother to Grace.

  “You and I both come from hellish backgrounds,” I murmured. “Luckily, we got to pick our families later on. You found the Quinns, and so did I.” I touched her cheek. “That matters, Pipsqueak. Even if our biological parents hadn’t hurt us the way they did, the family that sticks by you is the one that counts. To hell with biology. Grace has one mother, and it’s you.”

  She finally mustered a smile, and I brushed away the tears that spilled over.

  “One more thing,” I said and kissed her nose. “You’re never going to stop worrying completely. That’s part of being a good parent.”

  She exhaled a laugh. “Okay. Sign me up for a lifetime of worries, then.”

  Thank fuck. I hugged her to me tightly and breathed her in. “You know you make me the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet, right?”

  “Good. I’m supposed to.” She was back to her cheeky self at last. “I love you.”

  “Love you too.” I dipped down as she puckered her lips. “I’ll call the Realtor about the house before my class in Alameda starts.”

  “Okay, good. Call me when you get home. I have a hot date with my economics paper.”

  “Yeah, I know you think that’s supposed to sound boring, but now I’m jealous.”

  She laughed at me.

  “I’m serious.” I growled playfully against her cheek and squeezed her sweet ass. “Now I’m picturing you naked on the bed with your textbooks around you.”

  Fuck. I couldn’t get hard now.

  Elise just found me hilarious for some reason.

  Never before had attending a high school graduation meant so much to me. Aside from my own, perhaps.

  It felt genuinely good to see my students accept their diplomas, especially the ones who’d struggled so hard.

  The auditorium was packed with proud parents, siblings, and grandparents, and I stood on the sidelines and applauded with them. When Jordan walked up to that podium and shook hands with the principal, I was damn proud too. Same with Mariella and Marcus.

  It was humbling as well, when they sought me out afterward to thank me for “riding their asses.”

  This was why I’d become a teacher. Now I just needed to bring that motivation and newfound spark back with me to Camassia.

  Elise didn’t get a grand ceremony, unfortunately. She’d completed her program with a high score at the culinary institute a couple weeks ago, and today was her final cla
ss in business economics. But that didn’t mean her family wasn’t there to celebrate her. Darius and Ethan even flew down for a couple days to be here.

  We met up at a restaurant along the waterfront, and once we’d ordered our food and raised our glasses to Elise, it seemed the running theme of the evening was going to be to poke fun at her and me for being the only ones who hadn’t seen our new house yet.

  “Which reminds me,” Darius said, retrieving his wallet. “I’m keeping one set, and I assume Ma’s gonna want a copy.”

  “I definitely do,” she agreed. “We may have been spending more time down here this year, but with our little Grace returning to Washington…”

  “I remember a time when you liked your kids and wanted to be where they were.” Darius tossed me two sets of keys across the big table, and for a beat, I just stared at the keys in my hand. While the others joined in on the good-natured ribbing about Mary replacing her kids with a grandchild. A grandchild that was currently very comfortable on Nana’s lap.

  What a fucking whirlwind these past couple months had been. Everything was falling into place.

  We hadn’t been able to get away from work to see the house, so we’d had help from the family. Mary had taken the first tour with the Realtor to take more pictures for us. Ethan had been next, requesting a quick visit to photograph the stuff Mary had missed. And he’d sent Darius over there after that, to give me a rundown on the things that would need fixing and renovating. Even James and Willow had walked over there one evening to check things out, though they hadn’t actually entered the house.

  Paperwork had been mailed. The transaction was complete. Keys in my hand…

  Next week, Pipsqueak and I moved in together in a new house.

  It was surreal.

  I had made a substantial profit from the sale of my old house too, leaving us with a buffer that I hoped would help Elise apply for a business loan this fall. She had a temporary job lined up at her grandmother’s old folks’ home, where she’d work until we found the perfect location for her business. It would give me some time to make my girl unclench about “yours, ours, mine.” She didn’t want to use what she called my money. She wanted to contribute and stand on her own, and I sympathized. But Christ, she was twenty years old, and I had fifteen years on her. She couldn’t set her expectations too high.