Her All Along Read online

  He flashed a quick, tentative grin and took a drag from his smoke. “Okay. If you say so.”

  I frowned. “You don’t believe me?”

  He shook his head quickly. “It’s not that. Let’s just… Let’s swap life stories before you decide anything, okay? A lot of people don’t wanna get dragged down by my baggage.”

  And I’d thought my abandonment issues were bad.

  Fair enough. I’d show him.

  “Where do you live now?” I asked.

  “Here in town. In the Valley.” That made me ridiculously pleased to hear. “Once she was dead, I started coming up here some weekends,” he continued. “I wanted to replace old memories and see if I could find the balls to reconnect with you.”

  “I’m glad you did.” I smiled faintly. “It’s good that you live close by too. Means I’ll force you to come over for dinner often.” I paused and thought about the cooking he’d experience… “I won’t have to force you for long. Elise’s cooking is addictive.”

  He turned pensive. “You love her for real, don’t you?”

  I understood the question only because it came from him. He’d see one day. I’d make sure of it.

  “She’s the light of my life and all the clichéd superlatives I didn’t believe in for a long time,” I replied. “I wouldn’t be the man I am today without her and Grace.”

  He nodded once. “I guess that’s good. A good feeling.”

  I could tell that he wasn’t able to relate at all. And before my friendship with Pipsqueak morphed into much more, I hadn’t been able to relate either.

  “Is it too soon for me to introduce you?” I wondered.

  It was almost endearing how apprehensive he became. “If you think that’s a good idea…”

  I did. There was no way our first time seeing each other in twenty-five years could be over in a matter of minutes.

  “Come on.” I nodded toward the house and started walking. “Elise will give us space quickly. She’s weirdly good at picking up those cues.”

  “What isn’t she good at?” It sounded like a joke, and his slight smirk confirmed it.

  I answered honestly, nonetheless. “Cleaning. It’s better for everyone if I clean the house.” It was the perfect deal to me.

  Finn chuckled under his breath. “Is she messy? You were a neat freak when we were kids.”

  I wouldn’t go that far…

  “She’s scatterbrained,” I responded with a fond grin. Because there were so many memories of her trying to keep things tidy and failing miserably. She was great at organizing things, but cleaning…? Christ, I’d found my ties in Grace’s underwear drawer and kitchen utensils in the living room. Safe to say, having a big home was different from just running my old, tiny kitchen in the other house. “Typical creative folks. Always focused on their next project.” Be it dinner or something she was going to sell in her shop. Not that I was complaining. She spoiled me rotten by letting me be the guinea pig to her creative mind.

  My two worlds were about to meet, and nerves tightened my stomach as I climbed up the porch steps and opened the door. And the first thing I saw was Elise, mid-flight. It looked like she was about to run up the stairs, but she stopped when she heard me.

  “I sent Grace and Lias upstairs to watch a movie,” she explained hurriedly. “Do you want me to go up there too?”

  Case in point.

  I shook my head and extended my hand. “I want you to meet him.”

  She smiled tentatively and slipped her hand into mine.

  Fuck, I didn’t know why I was this nervous. It was important to me, though. So fucking important. My Pipsqueak and my brother.

  Finn stepped inside the hallway and closed the door, and his gaze got stuck on the pictures above the side table. Pictures of Grace, mostly.

  “Finn, this is my wife. Elise.” I cleared my throat and pushed down the jitters. “Elise, my brother.”

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, Finn.” Pipsqueak shook his hand and smiled the smile that made everyone feel welcome around her. “You’ve been the missing piece for so long.”

  I slipped an arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head.

  Finn smiled politely. It was easy to see that he was uncomfortable with the notion of being important or any kind of missing piece. “Good to meet you too,” he said. “I’m sure Ave will regret inviting me in soon.” He smirked, as if to show he was kidding, but I knew better.

  I had my work cut out for me, and I was ready for it.

  “Okay, your humor needs work, but that’s all right,” Elise replied smoothly. “Ave isn’t the funniest man either.”

  “Excuse me?” I raised a brow at her.

  “Don’t even try.” She snorted and smacked my chest lightly. “Let me get you guys some coffee and snacks, and then I’ll get out of your hair, figuratively speaking.”

  She ducked into the kitchen before I could think of something clever to say, and I wasn’t willing to admit that she was one hundred percent correct. Not when I could use this opportunity to spank her later. She went fucking wild at that.

  Finn appeared significantly more relaxed now, possibly because Elise knew how to brighten a situation. She’d spent her life studying people in her quest to fit in, and I thought she was better than most neurotypical people at this point.

  “Like I said. You’ll like her.” I was confident.

  He grinned faintly.

  Talk about Sunday plans going straight out the window—in exchange for something I’d only dreamed of.

  Epilogue 2

  One year later

  “I think there’s something wrong with you,” I whispered against my little one’s forehead. “Babies aren’t supposed to be this quiet.”

  She shifted in slow motion, made a sleepy sound, and grabbed on to my nose.

  I chuckled under my breath and kissed her cheek.

  The baby smell—I’d forgotten it. I’d forgotten how amazing it was.

  Hazel was born in December, and she’d been our Christmas miracle, even with that name. I liked it now, but it’d taken Pipsqueak several weeks to convince me. Naming our daughter after a nut…

  It was appropriate, though, since I’d married a nut too.

  Darius had given us this rocking chair as a gift—he’d made it himself—and it’d become my favorite spot for when I put Hazel down to sleep. The night shifts that weren’t about breastfeeding were mine to handle so Elise could get some rest. She was snoring softly in our bed a few feet away, and all I could think about was how long she wanted to wait for our next kid.

  We’d decided three was a good number for us, and considering I’d be forty in a few years, I wouldn’t mind aiming for another addition soon.

  A small shadow appeared in the corner of my eye, and I glanced up to see Grace in the doorway.

  “I can’t sleep, Daddy.”

  “Come here,” I murmured. “Is something wrong?”

  She’d been restless since her sister was born. Constantly hovering, fiercely protective. Elise and I had read all the books, and we’d been prepared for jealousy since many older siblings felt a bit cast aside when a newborn joined the family and demanded so much focus, but that hadn’t happened. Yet, anyway. Quite the opposite.

  Grace shook her head and tiptoed over to me, holding a finger over her lips as she passed our bed.

  I nodded, proud of her. She was damn considerate. And very much aware of her surroundings.

  Shifting Hazel higher in my arms, I made room for Grace on my lap, and she climbed up and peered down at her baby sister.

  “Did Mommy feed her?” she asked.

  “A little while ago,” I replied.

  “Okay.” She drew a finger carefully over Hazel’s nose and smiled a little. “I want her to talk now so she can tell us when she’s hungry.”

  “Babies have their own way of talking,” I explained quietly. “They don’t want a whole lot, so it’s easy to find the problem. If they’re not hungry, they’re tired a
nd cranky—or the smell of their diaper will let us know.”

  Grace giggled behind her hand, too cute for words.

  I kissed the side of her head. “You need to get some sleep, love. Tomorrow we’ll take a walk to the marina.”

  She nodded. “We’re eating at Uncle Darius’s. Mommy tolded me.”

  “Good.” I was looking forward to getting out with my whole family. In between balancing work, Grace, Hazel, making sure there was dinner on the table at the end of the day, the house… Basically, someone was always elsewhere. Mary watching Hazel, me picking up Elise in the Valley, Grace off with a friend somewhere, me at work, and on it went. My paternity leave had ended last week, and as a small business owner, Elise couldn’t take as much time off as she needed. It’d been hectic, to say the least. But tomorrow, we were all off, and we’d decided to bundle the girls up and walk over for a lunch at Darius’s restaurant.

  “Can I sleep between you and Mommy?” Grace asked with her puppy-dog eyes.

  I smiled sympathetically. “We talked about this, Grace. It was okay right after Hazel was born, but you should sleep in your own bed now.”

  She pouted.

  Thank fuck I got the pout and not Elise, because my wife couldn’t resist. But Grace needed rest too, and we couldn’t have her running on high alert all hours of the day as soon as her sister whined a little.

  “It’s only a few hours,” I reasoned with her. “You’ll see your sister first thing in the morning.”

  She huffed and slid off my lap. “Fine. Mommy’s nicer than you.”

  I grinned. “I know.”

  That earned me another huff before she stalked out of the bedroom.

  How ironic was it that, considering my background with women, I’d ended up with three who completely owned my sorry ass? But even I had limits, and I wasn’t going to let my daughter boss me around. Much.

  Hazel was asleep again, so I carefully carried her to her crib and put her down.

  With a long exhale, I let the tiredness sweep me away, and I crawled into bed next to Elise and hugged her from behind.

  She hummed sleepily and shifted her perfect little ass against me.

  That wasn’t wise. We were out of condoms, and she hadn’t started taking her birth control pills yet because we’d decided to wait until we’d discussed our third addition. But fuck buying more rubbers. Neither of us had liked them.

  “So, I’m nicer than you?” she mumbled.

  I smiled against her neck. “Yeah. I’m the big bad Daddy.”

  “Mmm…you’re definitely big…”

  “Woman, I swear.”

  She shouldn’t rev me up. We slept with our door open, to boot. It’d turned into a challenge to find time for sex once Elise had been cleared by the doctor. A quickie wasn’t merely an option; it was the default mode at the moment.

  Our record so far was two minutes. Something that would’ve embarrassed me a few years ago. Now it made us fist-bump in triumph.

  “We don’t have protection.” I threw that out there. “And even if we want another sibling for the girls soon, I assume you’re not ready right now.”

  “I mean…”

  “Yes?” I pressed myself even closer and started kissing her neck as I waited for her response. It was also a good time to squirm my way out of my sweats.

  She let out a small laugh and shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the end of the world, would it?”

  “That’s a green light,” I stated. “How do you want me?”

  Her breasts were…spectacular…but sensitive and sore and achy, and therefore, sadly, out of commission for now. Or rather, strictly reserved for our daughter. So, Pipsqueak had to lie fairly still when we fucked.

  “Like this, from behind.”

  I was good with that. It was one of my favored positions to finger her in. After sliding down her panties, I kissed her shoulder and slipped a hand between her legs. That first tremor that ran through her body when I touched her never failed to turn me on.

  My desire for my Pipsqueak was amplified by thoughts of creating another child with her. I remembered when she’d started showing with Hazel… Christ, I hadn’t been able to stop watching her, touching her, taking her, worshiping her.

  Elise moaned under her breath as I fingered her slowly, coaxing more and more wetness from her, and she kept pushing her ass against my cock. The arch of her spine was a goddamn work of art. Every dip, every curve.

  I blew out a breath and felt the urgency rise within me.

  As soon as she pleaded for me, I withdrew my hand and guided my cock between her thighs. Then I pushed all the way in and stifled a groan against her shoulder.

  Elise sucked in a harsh breath, the kind that told me she needed a second to adjust because it stung, and it was a sound she never held back because she knew how much her caveman of a husband got off on it. Which reminded me…

  “It’s been a while since you marked me, baby girl,” I gave the spot below her ear a sharp nip.

  She whimpered and swiveled her hips to meet every thrust I gave her, and she slid a hand behind her to reach my back. “How horrible of me. Maybe we should make a trade…?”

  I was up for any dirty suggestion she had in her repertoire.

  “Lay it on me.” I picked up the pace and hooked my arm under her leg. The new angle allowed me to go even deeper, and I groaned as I forced my cock into her wet, warm, tight pussy.

  She buried her face in her pillow and let out a soft, pleading, keening sound.

  Fuck. She felt too good. She always did.

  I didn’t want her to get pregnant right away, solely for the reason that I loved turning every round of sex into a possibility of knocking her up. It was indescribable to think, to remind myself, right before I came in her, that maybe this was the time that did it. Maybe this time, I was putting a baby in her.

  “You give me a mark now…” She panted. “And I’ll give you one tomorrow in the shower.”

  God yes. Our quickies in the shower were another favorite. We went rough, hard, fast, and usually with her back pushed up against the wall and her fingers digging into my shoulder blades.

  “Deal.” With my arm locked under her knee, I snuck my hand between her thighs and touched her roughly. I squeezed the fleshy part of her thigh, screwed my eyes shut, and began fucking her harder.

  The pleasure pooled lower and lower, each forceful thrust pushing me toward orgasm. Her dirty mind was my constant fuel and reassurance. Carnal was our way, and I never had to feel guilty for turning into a savage around her. For wanting to stake my claim and own her.

  She cried out into her pillow and started shaking when I spanked her clit. She was so fucking beautiful, all flushed and needy and struggling to keep the filthy little animal in her restrained. That part of her would be unleashed next time we had a babysitter, and I couldn’t fucking wait.

  “Come around my cock, baby,” I ordered under my breath, my muscles protesting.

  “Almost there,” she mewled. “Oh fuck… Please—harder, Mister.”

  I rubbed her clit in persistent strokes and slammed myself into her as quickly as I could, and the second she started falling apart, I could let go. My climax washed over me. Elise went rigid, and I had to force her leg to stay up with a bruising grip. I felt my cock throb with each release that pulsed out of me, and that voice in the back of my head rasped, breed her, fill her, get her pregnant again.

  It took every bit of self-control not to get too loud.

  Holy fuck.

  Afterward, we were a panting mess of listless limbs and shivers.

  Elise rolled over and tucked herself into my arms, and I hugged her tightly.

  “I love you,” she croaked.

  “Love you,” was about all I could muster in response. I swallowed dryly and hoped my heart rate would return to normal soon. Jesus Christ.

  “Sweetheart, why don’t you let me do that for you?” I watched with a frown while Pipsqueak prepared our breakfast. “You can sit here and fee
d the baby.”

  Hazel might be a strangely calm and quiet infant, but evidently, she was a biter. Before I’d put my foot down, I’d seen my wife literally get tears in her eyes when Hazel fed from her. The doctor said it was normal, but I wasn’t having it. With or without teeth, that shit had to hurt. So, a couple meals a day came from a bottle, even when Elise was home.

  “I wanna be on my feet,” she responded. “Yesterday at work, I got tired after a freaking hour. I had to sit down and catch my breath.”

  “You must be the most impatient Quinn,” I said, shaking my head. “You just gave birth, baby. Give it time. Rest.”

  She waved me off.

  Sometimes, I felt like I was married to two versions of Elise. There was Elise Becker, mother and wife, my amazing Pipsqueak, who applied logic and reason to everything. Then there was the business owner who honored the name given to her by her parents; she ran Treats by Elise Quinn, and she couldn’t take it easy worth a damn. Logic flew out the window if she had a deadline to keep.

  I supposed it was good, though. It’d taken me years to discover that she had flaws. I could stop checking her for halos, because goddamn if the woman didn’t drive me fucking crazy with her incessant need to be at the very top of her game. It was inhuman not to allow for errors, particularly with a business that was still fairly new.

  I dropped my gaze to Hazel instead, who was happily drinking from the bottle and not torturing Pipsqueak’s nipples.

  “Your mother would freak out on me if I’d waved her off like that, wouldn’t she? Yes, she would.”

  Hazel blinked slowly.

  Elise sighed heavily. “I hate it when you’re right, Mister.”

  I smiled to myself, satisfied, and reached for the radio in the window behind me. We weren’t radio people; to be honest, it felt like an archaic technology outside the car. But when Finn landed a job at the local radio station, we’d bought one.

  He delivered the traffic report four times a day and had his own, albeit very brief, weekly show about what was new in town.

  “Grace!” Elise called. “You can turn off the cartoons now. Breakfast is ready.”